The Lawler Family

I’m sitting in my new Denver apartment listening to men jumping on the roof. Someone forgot to tell me that they were going to be replacing the roof before I moved in :/. Details, details, details. Anyway, I’ve been here since Monday night and am at a loss for what to do with myself now. I had originally thought that I’d take the next couple weeks to rest, hike, and just follow my whims for the day. Instead, I find myself creating errands and piddly work so that I feel useful in some way. Methinks I need a j-o-b. The transition from the intensity of the past year to normal daily life is tough; I often feel like a visitor in other’s more normal lives. Nights are still tough for some reason. The dark and quiet make me anxious. I refuse to just sit and ruminate, though, and have been rewatching the Rome series and rented a movie on Ghengis Khan.  There’s just something comforting about gory battle scenes :) I miss Craig and my mom everyday and worry about the future of our family; how we’ll each cope and heal and build new lives.  I have hope for us, even if the future is nebulus and cloudy and always shifting. It’s what keeps me smiling